Adjusting to College

First-year students beginning college usually have expectations about college life long before leaving home. Some look forward to college and are eager to experience more freedom and adventure. Others may be enthusiastic initially, but then discover that the actual experience falls short of their expectations — they don't feel happy, comfortable, or secure in their new environment. And some students know that leaving home will be difficult and dread the thought of going. No matter the expectation, nearly every student encounters challenging experiences or obstacles at the beginning of college that they didn't anticipate. Positive life changes produce stress, and the changes involved in leaving home for college are demanding and can lead to varying emotions including sadness, loneliness, and worry. These feelings are typical and part of the normal developmental transition to college.

Changes to Expect in the First Year of College

Increased personal freedom

Many students welcome the freedom to make their own decisions while in college. Others may find this level of freedom to be strangely unfamiliar or difficult. First-year students who live on campus may maintain daily or frequent contact with family by way of phone or computer, but they make many more personal decisions and choices than they did in high school.

Increased responsibility

Along with an increase in personal freedom is greater responsibility for one's daily schedule. First-year students must make choices about when and how to study, socialize with new acquaintances, become involved in activities, budget money, exercise, and make time to eat and sleep. They are faced with the challenge of learning how to balance going to class, participation in activities, completing schoolwork on time, taking basic care of oneself, and having fun as well. Students are faced, often for the first time, with the need to take more initiative to address responsibilities — scheduling classes, buying personal items, making appointments for health needs, asking professors and staff for assistance.

Managing time

First-year students typically experience changing demands on their time. Days are less routine and predictable. Some feel they have virtually no time for themselves because of the time and energy needed to manage multiple obligations. College classes may seem difficult and draining and may involve more hours of studying. Other students may find the academic workload manageable, but feel they have too much free time that isn't relaxing or comfortable.

Different surroundings and relationships

First-year students have to adjust to new surroundings and relate to unfamiliar people. Other students often seem very different from family, friends, and acquaintances from home. Those living away from home typically have to learn to relate to and negotiate conflicts with new roommates. There may be the hope that a roommate will be a close friend, and it can be disappointing when that kind of relationship doesn't develop. First-year students also experience new expectations from adults at college — professors typically don't call if a class is missed, but will likely grade for attendance. There is usually less interaction between parents and the school, and students are faced with the need to work out problems or concerns directly with professors, Residence Life, etc.

Changing relationships with family and friends from home

As students experience more freedom and responsibility in college, relationships with parents and other significant people change. Frequent calls home are common, especially during the first few months away. It may be very hard to say goodbye at the end of holiday or semester breaks, and it may also be difficult to readjust to rules at home. It is important to point out that parents also need to adjust during this period — they are dealing with their child becoming more independent in some ways, but still needing them too.

Many students leave high school boyfriends or girlfriends when they go to college. There may be disagreement about whether it is OK to make new friends or see other people. One or both partners may struggle with feeling lonely, sad, or jealous, especially if the other partner seems to be adjusting better.

First-year students may also find that their relationships with friends from home are different after the time away. Some feel closer and more appreciative of those friendships; others find they have less in common after being away.

“What do I do if I’m not happy at college?”

It is a common cliché that “the college years are supposed to be the best years of your life.” If you are a first-year student who is feeling upset and miserable, this can be a very confusing and scary expectation. It is normal to feel sad and scared during the first several weeks of college. You are in a new, demanding environment and everything is different. You may feel like you are expected to “grow up” all at once, and this may feel depressing or even overwhelming. You may feel far away from the people who usually love and support you.

If you are struggling with the transition to college, there are some things you can do to help yourself:

• Reach out to others in your residence hall. You are likely to find that you are not the only one who is sad and upset. Your RA is a good resource and can help you figure out how to cope. Upperclassmen may also be eager to share their own experiences of adjusting to college life during their first year.
• Join campus organizations and clubs that appeal to you. These activities can help you meet and interact with others who share similar interests and may also be looking to make friends outside the residence hall environment.
• Make an extra effort to take care of yourself, including making time to rest, eat balanced meals, exercise, and avoid abuse of alcohol or other drugs. Try to develop a manageable schedule, including identifying your optimal place and time in the day to study.
• Adjust your expectations if things are not working out as planned. Your roommate might not be your best friend. You may need to initiate conversations about conflict over personal space and living habits. Try to give yourself some time to adjust — most friendships take time to develop, and your surroundings will become more familiar.
• Seek out resources on campus that can help you address problems and get support, both academically and personally. These resources include your advisor, professors, Counseling Services, Residence Life staff, the Chaplain's office, Student Health Services, Career Services, and the Dean of Students office.

Counseling Services

If you are having difficulty settling in here at Batten University or have any questions regarding the information on this page, please don't hesitate to contact one of the counselors. Counseling Services offers a wide range of information on these types of problems and provides caring, confidential help from professionals experienced in helping students navigate these same challenges.

Michelle De Rosa can be reached at 757.455.3131 and Sarah Morris can be reached at 757.455.5730.

Please note: Ideas and information on this page were adapted from the Villanova University website.